The people are very tolerant and respectful of the gay community, which means that it's easy to find men seeking men in New Zealand.

If you're looking for a date or just a quickie hookup, Squirt. Major cities such as Auckland have diverse populations, so you'll see men seeking men from all over the world including black gay guys, Asian gay guys and Latino gay men. There are numerous gay bars that cater to different clienteles such as Urge, a bar for leather daddies and the guys who love them. Bars and clubs open and close all the time, so chat with local New Zealand gay men on Squirt.

The facility offers legitimate professional massage services to get you loosened up before cruising the spas and steam rooms. There are several similar bathhouses where men seeking men go to hookup anonymously throughout the country. New Zealand also has a couple of gay sex clubs such as The Box in Christchurch, which has themed play rooms where you can practice your BDSM rope-tying.

If you're feeling up for an adventure, hike the trails of Mt. Alfred in Wellington where you'll likely find hot men cruising for casual encounters.

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Cruising the Cities of New Zealand Major cities such as Auckland have diverse populations, so you'll see men seeking men from all over the world including black gay guys, Asian gay guys and Latino gay men. He says "send me a picture of your face". I send him a picture of my face, and he says "oh you're an Indian.

I'm sorry". He then quickly blocked me. Apps like Grindr are also where many Asian men first encounter such instances of discrimination. So many profiles had "not into Asians", "not into this [or that]" … I was just so confused as to why that was.


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I was skinny, young, cute, and I thought that would be enough … — Rob, 27, Cambodian. For many people of colour, this sends a message that their skin colour makes them unlovable and unwanted - something that has a negative impact on self-image and self-worth.

One participant summarised how he was affected by these messages. The psychological impact of these experiences adds up in ways that these men carry with them outside of sex and dating.

Even as some Asian men withdraw from the gay community to avoid sexual racism, the impacts of these experiences endure. It scars you in a way that it affects you in [situations] beyond the gay community … it affects your whole life. These exclusionary practices are especially jarring in LGBTQ communities which often style themselves as "found families".

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Still, the experiences above represent only one dimension of how sexual racism affects the lives of people of colour. One of us Bronwyn Carlson has studied sexual racism experienced by Indigenous Australians on apps including Tinder and Grindr. She found that for many Indigenous users the vitriol often only comes when they disclose their Indigenous heritage, as their appearance is not always an initial basis for exclusion.

An interaction might progress with chatting, flirting, and often an intention to "hook up", but once an Indigenous user reveals their ethnicity the abuse flows. For Indigenous people, "sexual racism" is often indistinguishable from general racism. The threat of these experiences always lurks in the background for Indigenous people navigating social media and dating apps. They reveal a deep-seated hatred of Aboriginal people that has little to do with physical characteristics, and much more to do with racist ideologies.

For gay Indigenous men, the potential for love, intimacy and pleasure on Grindr is always counterbalanced against the potential violence of racism.