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Profile Available to Members Only. Sign Up Now! He was told to pray more, eat right and read the bible more often, and God would "heal" him. He was desperate but still felt the treatment was wrong. He decided to move to Wellington where he would explore his sexuality in secret, which led to more inner turmoil. He resigned from his new role at church, bought some pills and three bottles of wine, and gave up on life.
I tried to change myself, but I couldn't, so I decided suicide would be a faster way to get there. While recovering in hospital, mental health professionals did their best to get through to him, but he rejected their help. After a few weeks he broke down, wept and released "all of the bad stuff". In its place, he says, he began to feel worthiness and love. He began to believe God could be accepting of him.
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Now 26, and an online minister who posts his sermons and blog posts on his website, he tells people he has been created this way for a reason. Ryan Curran has grappled with his very self, and so has Christianity. Society has gradually become more inclusive and affirming of queer rights, yet many churches have not.
Others are slowly adjusting, while only a minority have become completely open and inclusive. Christianity once defined New Zealand's identity. In , 93 percent of the country identified as Christian. A steady decline since the s means that figure has now almost halved. Now, almost 50 percent of young people don't identify with any faith.
Christianity in New Zealand is not dying, but it is facing a generational problem. Pentecostal leaders would reject that accusation. The denomination is growing and churches like Arise and Elim are attracting swathes of young people attracted to their energy, modern music and active community. These churches encourage members to have a "personal relationship" with God, rather than via traditional rituals.
Yet Pentecostalism, like several other Christian denominations, has always been seen to be at odds with the queer community. Its churches teach that the bible denounces same-sex relationships - and the bible is sacrosanct. Peter Lineham, a Massey professor of religion and society and a regular churchgoer, sums it up like this: "I would describe our Pentecostal churches as welcoming but not affirming, and in some cases they're not even welcoming. Some church leaders continue to refer people to the types of therapies that try to "knock the gay out of you".
Lineham, who created a "Gay and Christian" support group at his local church, says there has been discussion at the highest levels of Pentecostal churches, but those in favour of inclusivity remain in the minority. Pentecostalism is far from alone in this.
Both the Baptist and Catholic churches generally teach that homosexuality is incompatible with God's word. When Pope Francis was elected in , it seemed the Catholic position was evolving.
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Yet this past December he called homosexuality a "serious issue" and described it as a "fashionable … mentality". Internationally there has been a conservative pushback in the United Methodist Church, which just this week voted to uphold and strengthen its ban on same-sex marriage.
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Pope Francis says homosexuality is a 'serious issue'. Photo: AFP.
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Lineham says it's views like this that are out of fashion. The majority of people are concerned about the safety and wellbeing of its young people. Churches claim to be the complete opposite. In a renovated warehouse on Cook St, central Auckland, a projector whirs into action in front of an 8 metre-high screen as a smartly dressed crowd gradually fills the room.
There is an excited hum as modern music is pumped into this very modern church. For the past half hour a few dozen volunteers have been serving upmarket coffee to worshippers, the bulk of whom are young professionals. Onstage sit two guitars and a bass, a full drum kit, two keyboards, a violin and a row of microphones.
It is Sunday morning at Elim Church and Pastor Mike Griffiths is going over his sermon, or "message" as he calls it, one final time. There are about 40 Elim churches in New Zealand and more than worldwide. Sunday services feature the type of upbeat, contemporary music that typifies most Pentecostal churches.
The church is particularly popular with youth and young professionals, yet its theology is relatively conservative. Internationally, Elim is often seen as being at odds with queer rights. The church's US website lists homosexuality alongside adultery, fornication and incest as "sexual practices forbidden by scripture". When time allows I like to go fishing, hunting or tramping to doc huts. I have a pretty busy lifestyle but.
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