But she had money. So she began to explore. She first booked year-old male escort Steve, from My Male Companion. She went into it wanting to learn how to feel pleasure with a man. It took her a few tries to achieve this. On their sixth date, his first sleepover, she pushed him away, afraid she was taking too long.
He encouraged her to take her time. She relaxed, and the pleasure she experienced that night was off the charts. Afterwards she lay on the bed and laughed and laughed. Great sex — check. But she also craved the care and attention of a man. This desire for emotional connection has driven the main adaptation the escort industry has made to the female client: the boyfriend experience, or BFE. It's a service built around the fantasy of the ideal boyfriend, who compliments, listens, provides romance, and generally makes her feel like a princess. Julie of My Male Companion says while male clients have the option of making a or minute booking with a female escort, women hiring a male escort average a two-hour booking time.
The show follows five male escorts, beefy gym-boy types dedicated to conquering the sexual and romantic needs of Las Vegas women. When they're not hammering away at a grateful client, they're playing table soccer or spilling their private thoughts in one-on-one camera chats. Male escort Jimmy confides to camera, "One reason women hire gigolos is because they've been hurt in some way.
Like it or not, our industry is fuelled by the pain of others. Armand is an oasis of calm among the hyper-male posturing of the show. His camera chats focus on the pillars of the BFE: being present to his clients and building a connection with them. I catch up with Armand at his home in Las Vegas via Skype. The call connects and he appears on my computer screen, all chiselled jaw and overcrowded muscles. He paces around, holding his screen so I can see him.
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In the background there are glimpses of stone Buddhist heads, a sense of a large, light interior. As he talks, he periodically gathers up his curtain of glossy, chest-length hair and throws it distractedly over one shoulder. He has elevated sex work into some kind of public service role. He describes his time with clients as a "moving meditation, a space for women to live out fantasies, to really experience their own sexuality in a safe space".
The son of an Indian mother and an American father, he grew up in Japan, immersed in the lulling rituals of the Shinto faith. And certainly, he talks more like a spiritual warrior than a male escort. But even spiritual warriors have to pay the bills, and consequently he has never met a client he feels unable to service.
He thinks men too often treat sex as a selfish act. He pedals "connected sexuality", the stuff people look for after a lifetime of bad sex. The sex was Olympic level — a pleasure fest. Her money bought his absolute focus. Ever the diligent professional, he immediately got into the spirit and adopted a dominant persona.
Shocked, she shouted the safe word. He also coddled her emotionally. He got her into juicing; he taught her how to ride escalators without feeling nervous; he convinced her to revisit, with him, the children's home she spent four terrifying years in as a child, to resolve the anxiety which still dogged her. But I can't help wondering about the efficacy of hiring fake love, when it's the real thing you want. Bettina Arndt, celebrity sex therapist and author of The Sex Diaries , says it could work for a small minority of women. For others the emotional kickback could actually make things worse.
Elizabeth herself warns against jumping into bed with the meter running. I got more than it cost me.
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Things in New Zealand are still a little more down-home than the slick boutique agencies available in Australia and elsewhere. There was Pam Corkery's proposal for "Pammy's", a brothel offering luxury beauty services, a bar and the option of taking a handsome hunk to bed. The brothel would have started life as a reality TV show tracking the transformation of male job applicants into high performing escorts. Corkery abandoned the idea in Currently, searching for a male escort in New Zealand leads punters to low-glamour community notice boards like backpage.
The few dedicated escort sites like nzrentboy. A lot of scrolling through is needed to find the few straight male escorts listed. But scroll they do.
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This small but growing group of women, the new protagonists in this story, are taking advantage of the perfect storm of technological, economic and social advances to demand a service traditionally the domain of men. They're buying the guarantee of a pampered few hours of synthetic love.
And, for these women at least, it's a more attractive option than taking a chance on the guy at the other end of the bar. Male escorts and the women who use them.
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